Expectations of happiness are not as rosy as it may seem. We want to… uhh, even not like that… we need to be happy because of the social pressure. According to the psychology of happiness, we live in such social environment that determines our high level of depression and the ways we react to the negative events. Nevertheless, our perception of emotions, both positive and negative, can be changed to concentrate less on the desires to be happy.
Be mindful of social influences
Not everything you see around is true. For example, look at any advertisement. There is no ad with negative or sad faces – people are always happy. The key message is that if you buy the advertised stuff, you are going to live a happy life like the lucky man, woman, or family from the ad.
Even in the social media, while looking at a couple of someone’s photos, you can’t see the whole situation. It’s only a portion of the story, the best part of it. But such regular pressure to be happy, when the others are, is in real life not more than a snippet of truth. Try to filter your perception of the perfection of false selves in the social media reality.
Be honest about your emotions
Don’t try to express the most positive emotions in each negative situation. Looking on the bright side all the time is controversial. If you believe in the power of positive thinking, stop! Such attitude may be counterproductive. However, negative emotions are natural, make you aware and motivate. The secret of a better life is to understand when and how to use your emotions well if you want to create a more honest version of yourself and more fulfilling version of your life.
Set challenging goals
Have you ever thought about your level of ambition? Stay focused on such goals that give you a sense of happiness – place a focus on success. As a result, a deep sense of serenity and fulfillment drives your motivation, especially if your goals seemed difficult and required high effort. Take on challenges, enjoy the process, but don’t try to jump over the moon.
Adjust your approach to relationships
While evaluating relations, do not set happiness as a goal. The other person is much more important. You are likely to focus on the other people if you think that the happiness and safety come from the others who like you, connect with you, spend time with you.
Allow yourself to be sad
Sometimes, you need to be sad while being in a bad mood. Feeling affliction is the bravest struggle you will combat. Running and hiding from sadness, avoidance of it and fear bring you further away from being happy. Feel your pain, acknowledge it, and then let it go.
We may need and even benefit from feeling happy here and there, but sometimes we might be better served basing on harmonic life focused on others. Happiness is not the ideal goal for you to pursue, but an outcome of your well lived life.